this i heard
from another captain,
as we stood on a pier
waiting out a storm:
nurtured to boiling perfection
which once compelled
and freed me
from the terrible circumstances
of my birth.
everything, i owe to it,
though it's also led to the ruin
of my estate,
the estrangement of my allies, and
the obliteration of my family.
i am driven to solitude, but
my anger moves me.
it saved me, and
it is what i know.
without it, there's
only a silent fog of
nothingness;
a blind drifting,
floating, half-asleep,
down a dark river
towards meaningless
death
do you understand?"
i smiled, only,
and shook my head,
as one who despises violence; but
every captain is cursed
and every curse, i suspect,
lures them to the same place.
so, yes, of course.
i understand.